Ripple Project

LDS General Conference

2010-10-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

CLICK PLEASE.

Motto, Mantra, or whatever...

2010-03-11T19:01:00.000-08:00

I saw this written on a wall at work. (Well not literally "on the wall," but you know what I mean.) I really like what it encompassed and I strikes at issues that I am trying to work on. Along with trying to repeat or write this to myself regularly, I thought I'd share it generally:

I will show respect for myself by valuing who I am and what I can contribute. I will not cut myself down or diminish my power to change my life or the lives of others. I will treat others with respect and compassion. I will think about my individual worth and the worth of those around me.

Long time coming...

2009-10-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

Following an unexpected phone call, a simple interview, two days of observation of about two hours each, couple phone calls, waiting, acceptance, more waiting, another phone call, a test, more waiting, lots of paper work, a drug test and a physical: I start training for a new job on Monday!

«Are all hiring processes so convoluted?»

Probably. I was blessed to easily get a good paying temp job right after my move. It didn't last as long as expected, but it was good enough. Soon after it ended I got a phone call for another exciting job. After months of sending in applications and resumés, to get such a quick and timely response was trilling.

«The time and place just needed to be right, I guess.»

Seems so. It's different work, challenging, but rewarding and with great growth potential. I'll be a team coach at a kind of boarding school for troubled kids. I'll be supervising and mentoring, as well as confronting and disciplining when needed. Along with many other things.

«Not easy work and lots to learn.»

And I hope to get learning quickly. I'll have somewhat flexible hours, which will allow me to figure out other things in my life and what paths I'll be taking in the near future. Really, I just can't wait to get to work and get more into the swing of things. Great things are in store.

What's in a name?

2009-09-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

I just came across this quote (Thanks Heather!), which helps explain quite well why I chose the name of my blog, Ripple Project. It's on the longer side, but in a good way.

"There is one responsibility which no man can evade; that responsibility is his personal influence. Man's unconscious influence is the silent, subtle radiation of his personality - the effect of his words and actions on others. This radiation is tremendous. Every moment of life man is changing, to a degree, the life of the whole world.

Every man has an atmosphere which is affecting every other man. He cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constantly weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities he would permit to be radiated. He can cultivate sweetness, calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility, and make them vitally active in his character. By these qualities he will constantly affect the world. This radiation to which I refer comes from what a person really is, not from what he pretends to be. Every man by his mere living is radiating either sympathy, sorrow, morbidness, cynicism, or happiness and hope, or one of a hundred other qualities. Life is a state of radiation and absorption. To exist is to radiate; to exist is to be the recipient of radiation."

President David O. McKay
7 April 1948

I truly believe that everything we are and everything we do ripples through the world around us. We can do nothing that won't affect, for good or ill, someone else in our human family. The very fact of us becoming better improves the world around us. Doing or being less the we could— even locked away, alone— is a detriment to everyone else. There is much more I could say, but I'll expound more another time. Just remember to be and do your best; everyone has an impact.

Stepping along

2009-09-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

Step into the dark. Blessed for making a choice; use of agency. Things flowing smoothly, well. Still settling; may be a while. Frustrating. Very tired a lot. Altitude? Stress? IDK. Really shouldn't complain. Nothing really comes all at once. Found temp work quickly. Yay! Pays well. Hopefully leads to more work, made good impression. Still looking at other options, too. House is nice. Roomies lax, fun. No worries. Lot to think about, juggle. Being on my own. Very glad to be taking care of it. Much to look forward to. Many friends to see. Not much time now. Lots to do. Kind of impatient. Probably will all go quickly. Reflecting. Looking forward. Ride the waves. Keep stepping into the dark.

«This stream of consciousness is brought to you by the letter C and the number 42.»

Full Moon Rising

2009-09-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

The flaming vermilion sun was in my rear view mirror. In the far distance the mountains I knew lay before me were not visible due to bluish mists and clouds. Just above where the mountains should have been I could see the faint outline of the moon. As it slowly rose, it caught and reflected more light. It was a full moon. With the Bonneville Salt Flats to either side and the mountains obscured, this full moon was the most prominent character in my field of vision. If paganism were my religion, the moon would probably my god of choice. It has always appealed to me; especially a full moon. Something about how when full, it looks complete. It doesn't produce it's own light, but still has a glory all its own and can almost completely brighten the night time. And it brings comfort to me, because regardless of where you are in this world the moon is the same. People separated by thousands of miles can see the same moon.

As I drove east on I-80 the full moon continued to rise on it white and cerulean background. The sun set in the sanguine sky, its light painting the atmosphere even after it had gone. I felt juxtaposed: between colors, between celestial bodies, between my life I was leaving and my life to come. With time the colors faded and the darkness of night overcame, but the full moon boldly shone in the heavens. I was taking steps into the dark, hoping, praying where I was going was where was needed, belonged. Action and change were all I knew for sure. With the full moon lighting my way, seemingly marking my path and destination, I felt oddly comforted. My way was guarded. I was secure. The end was known and this...

just another stop on my journey home.

Amazing Read!

2009-08-31T11:47:00.000-07:00

My sister, who just began the fourth grade and won't be ten until December, wrote the following poem for her class. The only prompt she was given was to write about what she thought was deep inside her. I may have some biases since this is my little sister writing, but I'm really not one to lavish praises on anyone. Honestly, I found this amazing writing. Anyway, read and see for yourself.

**************************

Deep Inside Me

Deep inside me is a door. Behind the door is a room. In the room is my mind, my thoughts, my imagination. The ceiling is high; the room is round and mammoth. Both seem to have no end.

The rainbow walls are covered in colors: cherry, lavender, and emerald.

There are animals, people and things. There are immense mountains of objects, some pictures you cannot touch, and some real things I know. The pictures are memories, some of enchanted times and gloomy times, timid times and boring times.

Images of grandma’s house with the smell of delicious cookies, or of fourth birthday parties with thrilled friends. The piles go on forever.

But in the center is a ball of light, like the sun. It shoots out pictures, smells and objects, never ending, never stopping.

In the ball are two faces. One that looks like you and one that looks familiar.

The familiar face is inside you, speaking to you. It echoes in the room.

It makes me feel light and cheerful. An excellent feeling you want to last forever.

The place is my mind,

my thoughts,

my imagination.

26 August 2009
Sara Garrett

Summer Squandered?

2009-08-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

[NOTE: Wrote a good part of this a while ago, but never posted it. Not really my current state of mind, but it does capture a lot of how I used to feel.]

Since graduation, life has been more than sufficiently empty and hollow. Having optimistic long-term goals did not help with the short-term "what's next?" I've taken opportunities to fill my time with wholesome activities, particularly last week (Camp Helaman, YSA Conference, family camping), but a great deal of my time has been vacuous. Granted I may have passed on few opportunities, but I don't honestly think that many. My main hang-up has been not creating more chances for good times, or being more proactive in getting myself to a better place. This may be end-of-summer regret, but I worry I could have done more to get myself where I needed to be. Or at least taken more advantage of the available time in other ways, instead of wallowing in a self imposed limbo. Regardless, life goes on and summer time ends. There were bright spots (beaches, hikes, friends), but not enough of them in my opinion.

«So much for summer being the bestest season.»

After two crappy summers in a row, I may have to pick a new favorite season.

«Winter? Or spring?»

¡UNA MAS!

2009-05-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

I have completed all papers, projects, presentations, and pedantic pursuits.

«That's an alliteration for you.»
(I had to stretch on that last one. Yay for thesauruses!)

Well, all save one. My last final is tomorrow, but that's it! It's the one I'm most worried about. I also have the most time to prepare, so I'm not too concerned

«Or that's just the full-blown senioritis talking:
"It's over! Who cares? Get me outta here!!"»

It got kinda crazy at the end, with papers and group projects, but it all worked out. I'll have to wait for final grades to be sure, but I feel it all ended well. Maybe even better than expected. It was also a bit odd (though very welcome) that I had about 5 days between my last class and my first final. Don't you worry; I took full advantage of that time — Heather (my girlfriend) came into town and we filled my extended weekend by gallivanting around, staying up late, hiking, relishing in nice weather and the beach, seeing the sites, and truly enjoying ourselves. It was time definitely well spent.

«Definitely not over-concerned about finals and such here»

So I'm nearly, nearly, nearly done. I don't feel as excited as maybe should be expected, but I don't care. It's a great accomplishment (when I'm done done), but still only another step of many that I'll take. I'll report back when it official. =D

Reflections while writing research papers

2009-05-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

Book titles
short (e.g. The Giving Tree, Frankenstein, The Time Machine)

Research article titles
long (e.g. A relational perspective on turnover: Examining structural, attitudinal, and behavioral predictors ... nuff said)

Book lengths
100pgs: short
300pgs: decent
600pgs: long
1000+pgs: Robert Jordan or War and Peace status.

Research article lengths
3pgs: pamphlet
8pgs: decent
15pgs: long
25+pgs: dude, write a book why don't ya

Update –

Book authors' names
mostly normal (e.g. Douglas Adams, Jane Austin, C.S. Lewis)

Research article authors' names
long and weird (e.g. Chockalingam Viswesvaran, Randall P. Settoon, Darlene F. Russ-Eft)

Maybe I'll add more later. I really should finish writing my papers...

«Woo-hoo! Nearly done!»

Ser...

2009-05-03T15:23:00.001-07:00

So trusting my all to Thy tender care,
And knowing Thou lovest me,
I'll do Thy will with a heart sincere:
I'll be what You want me to be!

I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go, Mary Brown
LDS Hymn book, #270

Pork! NOM NOM NOM!

2009-04-29T09:45:00.001-07:00

«Wait, what about Swine Flu!?»

I was going to write a more detailed post about the paranoia around swine flu. Then I found this, and it explained it so well.

«Hahaha! So true!»

I am more likely to die in my car on my way to class than of swine flu, ever. I'm even more likely to die of the regular influenza! This media hype is redonculous. Regular influenza really only preys on the elderly, the very young, or the already sick. (The only confirmed death of swine flu in the U.S. is of a 23 month old Mexican immigrant in Texas.) I'd be willing to bet most of the confirmed deaths in Mexico fall into to one of those categories, and on top of that they probably had horrible health care or no access to any health care. Plus, while there may be no vaccine for swine flu (flu vaccines are kind of a joke anyway) regular drug treatments(see end of article) for influenza seem to work fine.

«So we're all worked up over nothing?»

I'm not worked up, and neither should anyone else be. Be smart, be safe, but don't be paranoid. Lets focus on real problems that need our time and attention. I'm gonna go eat me some pork. YUM!

...

2009-04-27T22:01:00.001-07:00

I'd had a post I wanted to do last week I think, but I never could get myself to put it together. I'd like to say it's only because I'm tired and really busy. I am: schools wrapping up, I'm trying to finish my last two papers and a project, plus exams and finals.
Then I graduate!

«Huzzah!!»

I have had time for other things, though. I'm really good a distracting myself. I could have done a post or two during these last two weeks. I fear I have been making blogging too much of a chore. If I do that I'll never be consistent at this. On top of that with the writing I'm making myself do, early, for school I don't think writing voluntarily as a past time is what my brain wants as a distraction.

«Yeah, no.»

So I'm gonna cut back until school is done done. (That's not a typo.) And I'll try and make my posts less of an assignment for me and more of just blabbing about stuff or reporting on random thoughts or whatever.

«We'll have to wait and see.»

Just so I can keep myself writing and posting.

President's Trophy

2009-04-11T16:33:00.001-07:00

The San José Sharks are basically the only sports team I truly care about. I usually prefer to play sports that than watch and follow a game. And if I watch it better be a good game; if it's poorly played I don't care to watch. I particularly don't care to follow a whole season or league. I'll pay attention around playoffs, especially if a local team — or some other team I happen to be partial to — is involved. But I'm not that way with the Sharks. They've have always shown promise, but that has never resulted in anything substantial. They regularly make the playoffs, even the semi-finals...but no real success.

«Until now!»

This season, by far, has been there best ever. Yet at times this season they have soon tendencies to return to their old ways. Just today the pulled off a franchise first: They clinched the President's Trophy. This means they have the best record for the regular season out of the whole league. Granted they clinched it because they only team that could overtake them, the Boston Bruins, lost their game today. Still it is great accomplishment for the Sharks. At the same time, who cares about the President's Trophy?!

«It's like winning Miss Congeniality at a beauty pageant.»

For as long as they've awarded the President's Trophy, less than one-third of those recipients have gone of to with the Stanley Cup. That's the trophy that matters. That's the one the Sharks need to win (and which they have yet to win). And that is the Sharks cannot choke during playoffs. They have proven they can play with the best (and the worst at times), they are currently among the best in the league. But they really need to follow through. The Detroit Red Wings are their main obstacle. They've basically broken even with them this season, but in the past they've often had trouble, especially in playoff season. If they can break their mental block and beat them, I think they'll go all the way.

LET'S GO SHARKS!!

Feasting

2009-04-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

This took longer to get up than it should have.

«You getting lazy?»

I'll always be a little lazy. Hopefully it was just the frustrations of life...
Anyway, this last weekend was General Conference, and I love General Conference! I'm not sure if I can articulate all the exact reasons. Is just the change in my weekend pattern once every six months? Or having a bit of a break from my Sunday responsibilities?

«Or not having to wear a white shirt and tie and getting to wear some color?»

No, it's more than that.
Starting in high school I began trying to attend all the sessions of Conference. Was it because I got make up credit for seminary? Maybe a little (probably a lot) at first, but carried over to after high school. Even in my first year college I made a good effort to go to them all. I couldn't always make all the sessions, like in high school, due to Saturday commitments, but I tried.

«So not just the extra credit incentive either.»

Nope, that doesn't explain it.
Then on my mission in England, General Conference was like Christmas. It could have just been that it was a like a little holiday for us, but that still doesn't quite capture it I think. What I'm trying to get at is that is something more to be gained from Conference beyond just the break of routine. At Conference we get to here from the leaders of the Church. They speak to us about what is important and pertinent to us right now, today. We get specific guidance from men and women who are called of God to direct, warn, counsel, and teach us. Most everyone who chooses to watch Conference understands this idea, I think. It's pretty easy, once you have a testimony in and of the living prophets and apostles, to listen to what they say and know that this instruction is for us today, from God through His chosen vessels.

«That's it then...»

Well, it is all good and true, but at the same time I see another level yet.
During Conference is one of the few times where I desire to and purposely take notes. Now, it's not just because I want to remember what the speakers say, because the talks are available in many formats immediately following Conference. The Spirit can be extremely strong during conference and I've been taught and I believe that conferences are times of revelation, personal revelation. I always have a favorite talk or speaker, or feel like I'm being spoken to personally. On top of that I know that I can and do get impressions, thoughts, and inspirations during Conference that are just for me. I can get answers and direction from God at anytime. I know that. But Conference provides a special time where that direction comes easier. I can prepare myself for it and be more ready to receive. This is what I think excites me: knowing that Conference is one of those times where, if I'm ready, I can get the directions, rejuvenation, and answers I want and need. It will always be one of my favorite times.

Haha! Ahahahaha!!

2009-04-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

That last post worked way better than expected. I posted a link on my Facebook, too, so I got more hits than normal. It actually convinced or nearly convinced a lot more people than I thought it would. I think I might have eve made a few people mad.

«You cruel, cruel man.»

Oh, they'll all get over it. If anyone lets a friendship be ruined over one practical joke, then, oh well. Almost every major news organization and many respected companies still do April Fools jokes. It's expected. It's a sign of a mature person to accept one's been fooled and laugh. Besides, I think part of being like a child is having simple fun.

«So you're practicing you childish attributes?»

(No, childlike...)
Anyway, that post yesterday was a bit spontaneous actually. I hadn't written in well over a week, as I'd been traveling. (That info is on my other blog I don't get Lost, I have Adventures.) I wanted to post something short, maybe mention my trip and other blog, but the idea of that practical joke came to mind. I went with it. It was a bit rushed and not really in character. That was kinda of the idea though, I didn't want to be too convincing. Obviously that was good thing. Imagine the trouble I could have cause had I been really convincing.

«You'd have no friends left.»

Yeah, don't want to waste all my trustworthy points in one go.

Great News!!!

2009-04-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

So after much prayer and consideration I now know exactly what I need to be doing. I'm joining the army! Yes I know it either seems like selling my soul to the devil or just going along with the crowd (depending on what side of the aisle you're on), but it's what is right for me. In particular after talking to a recruiter, Rio Palof, it looks like I'll be aiming for Delta Force training. It'll be several years before I get there, but the military is looking to increase its special forces, especially in Afghanistan, so they're attempting to recruit and train soldiers earlier on in the process. This is an extremely big commitment on my part. I'll be giving a lot of time and it will be very difficult. Fortunately at least because I'll already have my Bachelor's it'll be much quicker to become an officer, at least according to an ROTC girl at school, April Fulton. So I'm quite excited about my prospects and knowing what I should be doing. This is probably a surprise for many of you, but what would life be without surprises. ;-D

«In case it still doesn't seem real or you don't get it... »

Debo/quiero aprender otro idioma

2009-03-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

I spent pretty much the whole day with my friend's family recently. It was her wedding day and she asked me to help out. It was exhausting, yet fun. Her family is also Mexican. They're thoroughly American, but a significant portion of the day's conversation was in Spanish. I wasn't the only non-family there but I was pretty much the only who couldn't conversate in Spanish. I never felt left out and by the end of the day my speaking cadence had changed to somewhat more match theirs. At the same time I really felt that I should be able to speak Spanish. Both my parents speak Spanish fluently and I've always felt a little gypped that they didn't teach me. In high school I chose to take French, parce que je voulais être différente. A little of it has stuck with me, but really I only know the basics, can read it a bit, and know how to pronounce things. I guess I passed up on a chance there without even knowing what I was missing. I also believe I really took for granted that I would learn a language on my mission, but of course I was sent to England. So here I am with little multilingual experience, surrounded by friends and family with multiple language skills, and not equally equipped. I maybe haven't had as great a drive as some or the forced opportunity, but I have the capability I believe. I've certainly thought about it, but haven't acted upon it. Or known how really.

Besides picking up Spanish or getting back into French —

Θα ήθελα πολύ να μάθουν ελληνικά.

كما أنني فكرت في تعلم اللغة العربية أو الفارسية

या मैं हिंदी या उर्दू सीख सकते हैं

I should probably stick with a Romantic language at first, but it would be really cool to learn another alphabet. For now I don't see any big changes I could make, but it will always be on my mind. Eventually I'll need to find a way to make some big moves on this. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

(See the Google Translate link to the right if you can't read Spanish, French, or the other three languages. Yes I know what they are, but I'm not telling you.)

Focus, focus, focus...

2009-03-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

I had the most difficult time getting myself to finish a take-home midterm recently. All together, it probably took me around 6 hours to complete. But those 6 hours were spread out over 24. It took me hours just to get myself going in the first place. Then I couldn't get myself to focus and write for long periods of time. Work came in spurts and bursts. I knew how important this was and that late work was not acceptable, so I forced myself to finish it. I kept myself up until indecent hours to ensure I did the work in time. I ended up getting around 3 hours of sleep (between 6 and 9 am) and then polished off the writing, ate a little and went to my first class that started at noon.

«That's just ridiculous! Late-nighters are a part of college life, but the time was there to get the work done in a reasonable time.»

Don't I know it. I couldn't (or wouldn't, maybe) focus on the task at hand. I found all sorts of things to distract me and occupy my valuable time. I've always had trouble getting started writing and at least I liked the subject I was working on (social movements and social change). It's getting pretty ridiculous and maybe I'm being to lax with myself. Or it's the fact that I graduate in May, have senior-itis, and just want to done with it all. (Maybe.) I'll need to deal with this in some way, because in the Real World ™ I'll need to work on finishing tasks in a timely matter that I maybe don't like or that don't intrinsically motivate me.

«What to do?»

On that note, I think I'm gonna be looking into meditation to help clear my mind and develop better focus. Not to go all hard core, but dabble in it a bit to complement what I already have going. I need to spend less time thinking about the past and the future, and deal with what's right in front of me. I think there will lots of benefit for me in using meditation.

To and Fro

2009-03-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

I still debate with myself how much I want to post here.

«Back and forth. Back and forth.»

I actually feel like I could be repeating myself.

«...repeating myself.»

... Anyway, I want to post regularly and about what's going on, but I totally believe in self-censure and I don't want to broadcast stuff that is too personal or negative. Yet, I still want to, for lack of a better phrase, "keep it real." Sometimes I get in moods that will pass over like bad weather and I don't want that to unnecessarily color a post. I hesitate to post then, but at the same time I want all sides to be shown; I don't want to pretend like there is only good and happy stuff going on. I want to realistic and positive, too.

«Aren't you demanding.»

So I'm still figuring it all out. I think my last post was true to what I want (as far as it comes to not hiding reality, but still trying to be optimistic, some). Giving things a positive spin, or focusing on what is good and right in what's going on is what I want. Building a vision of possibilities, not of deficits; seeing the right answers. That is what I'll be trying to do.

growl

2009-03-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

I got really angry recently. I don't like getting that angry. It tends to make me more frustrated and creates a vicious cycle. What made it worse to me is that the causes of my anger (actually something I'd done) didn't seem to matter to anyone around.

«Making you more upset.»

Yes. When I screw up I'd like it to matter to someone. Same with anything that upsets me. It also makes it difficult for me when I want to make amends and there's no one with whom to make up with or apologize. The only one who seemed to care or be affected by the situation was me! What am I to do then?

«Wallow in self-pity?»

And for about 12 hrs that's kind of what I did. (That is what I did. No kinda about it.) What I realized (or God knocked into my head) is that, first, failure is gonna happen. It happens to everyone. Accept that and learn from it. Second, my pouting is really kinda stupid and it's only hurting me. I need to forgive myself (something I'm not good at) and even apologize to myself (or the equivalent), also to God. My anger and resulting behavior belittled me. It wasn't a big thing and I should have not let it become one. I am going to get angry and frustrated again, over stupid things. I just need to not allow myself to let that disrupt my life, find the outlets I need and make the turn-around quicker. (Though I guess 12 hrs ain't that bad. What's important is that it bothered me and I want to fix it.)

Hmmmm...

2009-03-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

My posts don't seem to turn out the way I expect them to. Whatever's in my head seems to change when I write it down, or it develops in a different way as I write it, or something. Idk. I don't know what I should do about that, or even if I should do anything. Oh well. For now it's just an observation on my part. Maybe a bit of disapointment too....

No neon signs, or Bright lights

2009-03-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

I guess I've come to terms with the concept that it's not coming all at once. If I haven't already, I will pretty soon.
I really like being in control and knowing what is next. I like having and making a plan. It brings me comfort to have things laid out and it's exciting to think about the future. Unfortunately I seem to have come to the end of the line. I graduate in May and I really have no idea what I'm gonna do next. My life approaches the threshold, and I don't know what's next!

People sure like to ask, "What are you going to do after school?" to any student. It frustrated me that I have never really known, but I could always say I had time to figure it out; times now run out. I learned to throw out some general fields or areas that did interest me; I still have no idea where I'll end up. Later I was able to use graduate school as a good answer; that's not going to happen. With this economy it means there are too many people competing for too few spots. I'm good, but there's plenty more who are better.

I've run through a few other ideas and possibilities (Peace Corps, AmeriCorps -like stuff) and tried to keep contigency plans, but nothing has panned out or really seemed right. I haven't given up, but I was really hoping I'd have a clearer idea of where I was going and what I needed to be doing by now. I've certainly made it a serious matter of refelction, prayer, fasting, study, etc.

«And where has that gotten you?»

So like I said before I kind of have to accept that I'm not going to get my answer all at once. I've been learning (or re-learning) that sometimes the Lord's guidance won't come in a big lump. Actually more often than not we get it bit by bit, from time to time here, a little and there a little. We act on what we know, do as we know best, move in the direction we've been shown until we learn more and are instructed different. (So many scriptures, quotes, and talks from General Authorities flood my mind as I think about this.) Sometimes when we get more revelation we learn the why of what we were doing, other times we are told need to make a flight correction, but always, if we had been faithful, we find we were being prepared for whatever came next. The hard part is moving forward with incomplete information, uncertainty, and ambiguity. (3 things I'm not really a fan of. Mais, c'est la vie.)

«So where does that leave you for now?»

I've had the impression that getting a job and going to work is where I'll be heading. I need a part time job now, too, but I mean full-time work after graduation. Even then I don't know where I'll end up or what I'll be doing. I'll be figuring it out over time. I'm also making more of an effort to seek for and follow the little promptings I get. It'll all add up, I'm sure.

I must confess: I am a junkie

2009-03-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

(And by "junkie" I mean news junkie.)
There isn't a day that goes by where I can't help but check the news in some fashion. Even when I was younger I would read through the news paper. Mostly I'd check out headlines, but I'd read full articles that caught my interest. I always wanted to be up-to-date with current events, world news, national events and local happenings. I'm still the same way, but now use the newspaper less and check out news sites constantly. Practically the only reason I still go to Yahoo! is because news headlines are on the front page. Not really the best reason, especially because they post a lot of entertainment news (maybe a guilty little secret of mine...or not) and they post a lot of videos. I really prefer to read my news. Articles often are more in depth and I like being able to jump back and forth at will.

«So you're pretty on top of what's going on then.»

Actually, I'm a bit of a lazy news-junkie. Besides Yahoo! I only regularly check about 3 news sites: CNN, BBC and Al Jazeera. (Permanent links for 2 of them on the side. Guess which one is Al Jazeera.) I used to check the NY Times more regularly, but they keep on making very public screw ups with their reporting and they want me to register with them. (bleh) They do have good interactive graphics and I still will check them from time to time. There are so many sites I should check to get a more well rounded news outlook. I am pretty good for an international perspective, but not nationally or locally. The AP (which provides most of America's news with articles) and CNN aren't really the best places to go for unbiased or balanced reporting. Really everyone is biased in some way so to combat that I should check out sources from all sides. For example, The Huffington Post would be a great place to start. I've been hesitant mostly because it's more a liberal blog, and I don't like ranting. That's nothing against liberals. Just as much as liberal bloggists pontificate about the gay-marriage, the evils of Bush, and how those extremist, red-neck conservatives are ruining this country, the conservative blogs clamor about gun control, abortion, and how those elitist, liberal hippies are ruining this country. Getting into politics would be a whole other post, but basically both sides have their crazies on the soap box and I hate ranting in my news.

«That puts you in a pickle then.»

Not really. There are enough news sources out there that I can get a great variety and filter what I get to avoid the rants. I just need to be more diligent about it. It's something else to think about and work on.
(Actually that xkcd comic I linked to had some good sites that I need to try. ☺)

...As a pacifists pistol

2009-02-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

While talking with a friend the other day, I mentioned that I was feeling "bored with life." It felt right to say that at the time, and still does, but at the same time it feels counter intuitive. She seemed to think so as well. I don't have everything I want in life right now, but I have no reason whatsoever to be ungrateful. I don't have a job (not for lack of looking), but I have plenty of money for my needs at this time. I'm almost done with school; I don't know what I'm doing after, but this semester hasn't been very difficult or stressful at all so far. I feel quite on top of church, my responsibilities there, and my personal life — like I haven't in over 18 months. In fact I feel like I could be doing a lot more, and that's probably why I feel a bit bored: There is more that I completely capable of doing in my life. I have had times in my past where I felt like I was drowning in life and could barely keep my head above water. At those times I would look forward and think to myself, "If I can barely do what I doing now, and not that well, how in the world can I do all that I'll be expected to later?" The irony of it appears to be that I have turned out to be quite capable, and maybe then some.

«Don't get all cocky now.»

I can't take all the credit for this, of course; my efforts alone weren't enough. I know that others have helped me and prayed for me when I needed it. More importantly, I know that coming unto the Lord and trusting Him made all the difference.

For the time being I'll continue to do all the good I'm already doing. I'm doing things I enjoy doing (I'm reading for fun more now) and I picking up new things that I want to do (like rock climbing! I wish I had the money to do it more). And I'll keep looking to do other good works. I don't need to be told everything good to do. I'll keep on the path I'm on, keep my eyes watchful for opportunities along my way, and patiently wait for what is to come.

«You sure sound more confident that you feel, I'd bet.»

(Shush! I'm good right now. Don't spoil it.)

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul

2009-02-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

«And goodness does my soul need it...
Yours too!»

I made myself (mostly) finish my group presentation slide show before I'd let myself post today. So this blog is turning out to be helpful to some degree, and seems to be fulfilling its purpose.

«So far anyway. Lets not get too ahead of ourselves.
Not to discourage your optimism.»

Anyways, I (like most people who aren't emo, and even some of them, too) love a good laugh. Some of my favorite memories with my family are when we all were cracking up, laughing until we cried. The people I love spending my time with are the one that make me laugh. And whoever I spend forever with will be a woman that I love to laugh with, a lot. Laughter can extend your life, so I want to spend my time with people who will add years to my life and make those years very enjoyable.

My humor can be dry and I often enjoy listening to comical cynics. I love satire, particularly satirical writing. And a good role-reversal skit is hilarious. There really is too much to list, and I'd really rather not go into it all. What I will share are a few things that I love going to for a laugh: comics. The comics page is one section of the newspaper I always read. My family has been known to get into big fights other this, usually who gets it first and then next. Recently my brother and I have been debating about the quality of humor of a particular comic. I was somewhat partial to it before, but defending it against my brother has endeared it to me more. Like most comics, its not funny all the time, but I really like this comic now. I like its humor. Its called Bliss and now that I've also looked at other selections from the artist, I'm pretty sure I'm a fan and will always like it. It's no Calvin and Hobbs, Non Sequitur, or Far Side, but it's good. (The previous are all comics of which I am a fan.)

There are several online comics that I love to follow. After discovering each of them, I'd waste away several days reading through their archives to catch myself up completely. The one I'd recommend most is xkcd. I love the commentary and humor. Looking For Group also has some really great days for humor. Those two are probably my favorites of the online comics I check regularly. Others include the likes of Sequential Art and Ctrl+Alt+Del. Besides xkcd they all have a plot line to follow. I put permanent links of the side for a few.

I know I didn't give much detail, but I'm only sharing what I like. I don't need to defend.
So go have a laugh.

Temperance is a Virtue

2009-02-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

So many people when they post on their blog, or twitter, or facebook put up every fleeting thought and precipitate feeling that crosses their mind.

«Tell me about it. How annoying.»

I really don't like that and I purposely leave things out. If people really need to know I'll tell them personally, or they'll find out through the grape vine or whatever. The problem is I really do like having someone with whom I can share most everything. Most of my life I haven't had anyone that really filled that role, but for periods of time I have and I grew to enjoy it. Unfortunately they haven't lasted (I get left behind) and I have to get used to tempering my own thoughts again.

«This isn't some kind of sob story is it?»

No, no. Or a least I'm not trying for that.
I think many people may write every little thing because they don't have someone the can tell anything to. I know that for me, as much as I dislike writing, I find it therapeutic to write down all the thoughts in my head. But I would never then show that to anyone, and definitely not post it for the whole world. I try and put my best foot forward. What I'm trying to say is that I am going through withdrawals and I am resisting posting a lot more than I have been tempted to. I am going to be cautious and critical about what I do post, too. I'll find a balance eventually.

«The world thanks you.»

Music is what feelings sound like

2009-02-20T15:27:00.000-08:00

So music has always been a part of my life...

«Wait! Are you doing this everyday now?
What happened to you not liking to write?»

Well, I'm a bit bored and I had this idea in my head already and I wanted to put up some new stuff on the side bar to the right, there...

«Oh. OK.»

The posts will be more frequent at first as I'm establishing everything, getting my bearings, finding my voice, etc...

«Sure that all makes sense.»

Is that OK with you? I have your leave, then?

«Yeah, go ahead. Carry on.»

(...Jeez. Who's blog is this anyway?)
...So music has always been a part of my life. I have participated in producing it — vocal and instrumental — as well as listening to it. It has always brought me great enjoyment. Both of my parents were involved in music, so it was quite natural for me and my siblings to pick it up. We were always singing, I took piano lessons from quite a young age until high school, even picked up a bit or organ, I played clarinet in school, played some drums as well, sang in choirs, and performed in musicals. Yet even with all that, I don't feel I'm that good at anything musical. Decent, but not great. Having said that, I do still feel somewhat competent musically and I believe I have some potential beyond the level at which I currently perform. I try not to hide my talents a lot more now, which helps to develop them (more than I'd expected, too). I take more time to practice, particularly the piano, trying things that stretch my abilities, improve my skills, and force me to learn new things. I've always want to learn more musical theory, and I've even considered taking lessons again. I have also considered expanding my talents to other common instruments like the guitar.

«Good for you.»

Yes, and besides making music I've been working on my music appreciation in general.

«Wha...? How could you be that involved and need to appreciate music more?»

Obviously, I really appreciate music and I don't think one could appreciate it too much, but I guess I mean more being able to talk about music that I like coherently. I've always know what I liked in music, but was never good at naming songs or bands. I wasn't one who collected CDs or mp3s. I could say I liked pretty much all kinds of music besides raunchy hip-hop or rap, or country (*shudder* that's a whole other story), yet I couldn't say what was my favorite. Recently I've become much better at identifying what I like the best. It began simply, but I have found something amazing that has made a big difference. I take no real credit for this discovery and for many it is old, old news. I had heard about this website called Pandora (link on the right side too), but it was some time before I made the time to truly check it out. I love it! It has helped me so much in identifying and listening to what I like. It's helped me bring a lot of things together in an enjoyable way. At the right you'll also see a list of groups that I like. It is by no means a complete list and really only includes the top genres of music that I like to listen to regularly. Besides what's listed I really like Jazz, classical, Reggie, and a cappella — to name a few.

«Hey, wow. Looks like you're coming into your own now.»

Yeah. I feel like this is an important part of myself. Developing and understanding it better can only help to make me a better, more complete, and thriving individual.

Like a Storm

2009-02-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

In my head there have been so many thoughts and ideas bouncing around today. Plus I've been a bit sick, so that muddled things more. One reason for this blog was to have an outlet for some of those thoughts. I can't immediately post everything that comes to mind, so I will still need to find a good way to mediate between my head and here. I already miss my previous outlet for randomness, and the receiving of many more random texts and thoughts in return. I don't want to lose the propensity for random and creative thought, which that back-and-forth reinforced and encouraged. Here I won't have the relationship building part of the exchange, but I can develop the tendency to record and share random creative ideas. Who knows what could come from that.

«So this blog is going to be a bunch and random and crazy posts?»

No. I want to have structure here too. I already have ideas for posts that are more informative or expository. And of course there will be narrative, journal like ones, too. It will be a mix of all that, and maybe more. Fewer random posts at first, but eventually they will be the bulk of my posts I suspect. I want to write something at least once a week. I'll be strict with myself about that for awhile, just to get in the habit. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I write frequently, but not too frequently, without having to force myself. I actually have been excited about this.

Not its orginal purpose, but good enough.

2009-02-18T14:20:00.000-08:00

When I originally set up this blog, it was with the intent of writing about some big thoughts and grand ideas that I had floating around. I still have those thoughts sometimes, but I never got the gumption to put them together in a coherent fashion to then post anything. It was a difficult goal for a guy that really doesn't like writing much, but maybe I'll get to writing then down eventually.

«Wait... If you don't like writing, why are you doing this now?»

That's a fair enough question. I've made attempts at keeping journals an the like at different times in my past, and even at my best I only kept it up for a short while (6-9mo). Yet just as past successes are no sure indication of future ones, I see my former shortcomings as no firm suggestion of my future results. So try, try again I will; persistence can pay off. I believe this is especially true for something commandment worthy so my efforts will be blessed and the Lord will help if I am making a sincere attempt.

«Well, that's nice, but again, why now?»

Right. Well, I won't go into all the known benefits of keeping a record right now, but for me this will help me track of random thoughts and occurrences I want to remember. So often good thoughts come into my head, but they never hang around very long. This will be a place I can collect those thoughts. I'm going to try and write them down wherever I am and transfer them here. I'll make some sense of them before I post them, too... sometimes. I have a really good friend that just began her mission (for the LDS Church, she'll be serving in Recife, Brazil), so this will also help me have things to write to her about. Also this will be a way to record any blessings, tender mercies, and other cool events that I see around me (O, Remember, Remember). Another plus is that, being a proficient procrastinator, I'm always looking for good ways to waste time. Hopefully this will be a good way to spend my time, while actually bringing me some personal benefit.

«Ok then. Good luck with the learning experience.»

And it will be a learning experience. I know I can do hard things and overcome challenges, especially when I am working at what is important and the Lord is working with me. Let the experiment begin.